Not all harm at work looks like shouting. Sometimes it’s the eye-roll when you speak. The constant interrupting. The sigh before you’ve finished. The email tone that suggests you’re incompetent.
That’s called workplace incivility – and it’s not harmless.
Why “small rudeness” is a real risk factor
Studies show that repeated low-level disrespect:
- Reduces working memory and focus (your brain keeps replaying the moment instead of staying on task).
- Lowers creativity and problem-solving.
- Increases emotional exhaustion and detachment over time.
- Spreads. When people feel disrespected, they’re more likely to “pass it down,” even if they don’t mean to.
So this isn’t about sensitivity. It’s about cognitive load. You spend energy managing feelings instead of doing the work.
Regulators are starting to treat ongoing poor treatment — including belittling, dismissive tone, exclusion, sarcasm-as-weapon — as a psychosocial hazard employers must control. That matters. It means you’re not “overreacting.” You’re naming a real risk.
Signs you’re experiencing unhealthy behaviour
- You leave interactions second-guessing yourself more than solving the task.
- You start self-editing or staying silent to “just get through it.”
- You rehearse confrontations in your head at night instead of sleeping.
- You notice physical tension (jaw, shoulders) that hangs around after certain meetings.
That’s not attitude. That’s your nervous system in protection mode.
How to respond early (without escalating straight to war)
Try calm, specific boundary language in the moment:
- “I’d like to finish my point.”
- “Can we keep this on the idea, not the person?”
- “That felt dismissive — can we reset how we’re talking about this?”
Why this works:
- You’re naming the behaviour, not attacking the person’s character.
- You’re signalling a standard for interaction.
- You’re creating a record in case you need to escalate.
If the pattern continues:
- Document dates, language, and impact (“I left that meeting unclear on priorities and anxious about being targeted in front of peers”).
- Raise it through the appropriate channel as a psychosocial risk (not drama, not personality clash).
How leaders can lower harm fast
- Model repair. If you cut someone off, say, “Sorry, I spoke over you — keep going.” That single move normalises respect.
- Intervene live when one person repeatedly dominates or belittles (“Let’s give other voices space”).
- Make “basic respect” a performance expectation, not a vibe.
Further reading & resources
- CREW: Civility, Respect, and Engagement at Work – A Structured Team Civility Program.
- Systematic Review: How Ongoing Low-Level Rudeness Drains Energy and Impairs Performance.
- Safe Work Australia: Managing Psychosocial Hazards (Code of Practice).
Quick take-away:
Low-grade disrespect is not “just how they are.” It’s a known drain on wellbeing and performance — and you’re allowed to ask for better.